The 1st FREEBIE of 2010

[Diegoboy]

Scratch that... Not for sale or trade, This'll be the 1st FREEBIE of 2010!

☺ What I have to offer is a new Turingy B3650-3300 ☺

Spec.
Kv: 3300rpm/v
Power: 420W
Esc: 45
Battery Config: 3-5S
Length: 52mm
Width: 36mm
Shaft: 5mm
Weight: 230g


Never powered, but the motor shaft is filed short.

♫ The 1st Freebie of 2010!!♫
Let me think of how I will do this...

☺☻♥♦♣♠•◘○◙♂♀♪♫☼►◄↕‼¶§▬↨↑↓→←∟↔▲▼⌂

[Diegoboy]

I need a good laugh this year...

I'll rate the funniest joke posted in this thread (clean words at least) as the winner. Friday 1/8/2010 @ 5PM
Enter as often as you like
Start your post like this...

JOKE ENTRY:
(insert joke here)
ex of a boderline joke:
An elderly man finds he is unable to perform for his wife. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies, "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123."

Suddenly he has one just as the medicine man had promised. His wife, who had been facing away from him,
turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"


Good luck and mak'em funny

[domwilson]

Only 1 entry? What if we can come up with a few good jokes?

[Diegoboy]

Ok, enter as often as you like!!
Winner will be chosen on Friday @ 5pm
Edited the post above for the update

[domwilson]

Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

[domwilson]

Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

[domwilson]

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

[domwilson]

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

[domwilson]

Q: What's the most successful pickup line ever?
A: "Does this smell like chloroform?"

[sundog]

Cop is handcuffing an obviously inebriated vagrant and reading him his rights.... "anything you say can and will be held against you....." Drunk utters 'tits'.

(sorry if that's too risque Diego, I just had to pass that on.)

[Diegoboy]

It's okay, I moved the thread so 18 & over jokes are now acceptable!

[hide]

Quite a long joke but one of my favourites:

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.

He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.

He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped.

"Except what?" the man asked.

"Nothing, nothing."

"C'mon, tell me! I need something!"

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis."

"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"

The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."

He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the door."

The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo Penis, return to box!" The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more.

"I'll take it!" said the businessman.

The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo Penis, my crotch."

He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis.

She undressed, opened the box and said "Voodoo Penis, my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough.

She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.

She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!"

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis, my ass!"

[RCKong]

Why did Tiger Woods ease up on his golf schedule...? He said he starts to get tired after nine Ho's

[RCKong]

There once was an Indian Maid who said she's not affraid, she laid on her back and spead her crack and let a cowboy take a whack, one day to no suprise her belly began to rise, and with a grunt out of her c*#% came a runt quarter cowboy size...

[Doby]

This is actually a true story and happened to me and a buddy fishing several years ago.

I lived in Sarnia Ontario and used to fish with a friend who had a small aluminum boat in the shipping channel between Sarnia and Port Huron, Michigan.

One day we are out fishing, floating in what we thought was more or less halfway between the two countries( the channel was only about 1/2 a mile wide at this point).

Along comes a USA Sherrifs boat and he pulls up along side us.

He asks to see our fishing liscences.

My buddy replies that we are from Canada and don't need them.

The Cop says we are on the USA side and we do need them.

My buddy looks over the side of the boat and says he doesn't see a line on the water to back up the cops assumtion that we are on the USA side. (I'm shaking my head in disbelif at this point,,,the man has a gun!!!)

The cop asks again for the licences and my buddy says we only catch Canadian fish.

The cop asks how we can tell them apart (wrong question to ask my buddy)

My buddy says we throw the fish with the big mouths back
(Right about now I'm debating jumping overboard and swiming for the Canadian shore)

He was not amused. And promptly escorted us back to the "Canadian" side.