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  • Xzessperated
    Fast Electric Addict!
    • Apr 2008
    • 3060

    #16
    Andy just to back up the fact that it is true read the following.....

    A little known fact about the haggis is its aquatic ability - you would think that with three legs of differing lengths, the poor wee beastie wouldn't be very good at swimming, but as some of the Scottish hillsides have rather spectacular lakes on them, over the years, the haggis has learned to swim very well. When in water, it uses its vestigial wings to propel itself forward, and this it can do at a very reasonable speed.

    Haggis are by nature very playful creatures, and when swimming, very often swim in a group - a bit like ducks - where the mother will swim ahead, and the youngsters follow in a line abreast. This is a very interesting phenomenon to watch, as it looks something like this :

    ............................ __---
    ............................/ /
    ........................../ /
    \\ /-\ /-\ /-\ /-\ / /
    The long neck of the mother keeping a watchful eye for predators.
    This does however confuse some people, who, not knowing about the haggis, can confuse it with the other great indigenous Scottish inhabitant, the Loch Ness Monster, or Nessie, as she's affectionately known, who looks more like this :

    ............................ __---
    ............................/ /
    ........................../ /
    \\ /-\ /-\ /-\ /-\ / /
    From a distance, I'm sure you'll agree, the tourist can easily mistake a family of haggis out for their daily swim, for Nessie. This of course gives rise to many more false sightings, but is inherently very good for the tourism industry in Scotland.
    The largest known recorded haggis (caught in 1893 by a crofter at the base of Ben Lomond), weighed 25 tons.

    In the water, haggis have been known to reach speeds of up to 35 knots, and therfore, coupled with their amazing agility in this environment, are extremely difficult to catch, however, if the hunter can predict where the haggis will land, a good tip is to wait in hiding on the shore, because when they come out of the water, they will inevitably run round in circles to dry themselves off.

    This process, especially with the larger haggis, gives rise to another phenomenon - circular indentations in the ground, and again, these have been mistaken by tourists as the landing sites of UFOs.

    I hope this clears up some of the misconceptions about the Haggis, that rare and very beautiful beastie of the Scottish Highlands (and very tasty too).

    I have included here as much factual, scienific material as possible, however more study is clearly needed.

    No-one has as yet been able to ascertain the sex of captured Haggis, and partially because of this, scientists assume the haggis is hermophroditic.

    This may also be a product of evolution, and does explain the logistic problems of bringing two haggis together - after all, sure footed though the beast is, if two were to mate on a Scottish hillside, it is a long fall down, and a slip at the wrong time may very well result in a reduction by two of the total haggis population.

    What is known about Haggis breeding is that, several days prior to giving birth, the Haggis make a droning sound - very much like a beginner playing the bagpipes for the first time - giving rise to the speculation that the bagpipes were indeed invented in Scotland, simply to lure unsuspecting haggis into a trap. At the onset of this noise, all other wildlife for a five mile radius can be seen exiting the area at an extremely high rate of knots (wouldn't you if your neighbour had just started to play the bagpipes?). The second purpose of the noise seems to be to attract other Haggis to the scene, in order to lend help with the birth. This also gives rise to the assumption that Haggis are tone deaf.

    Haggis normally give birth to two or more young Haggis, or "wee yins", as they are called in Scotland, and from birth, their eyes are open, and they are immediately able to run around in circles, just like their parent.

    The wee yins are fiercely independant, and it is only a matter of weeks before they leave the parent, and go off foraging for food on their own, although it is perhaps a two or three year period before they are themselves mature enough to give birth.

    Most Haggis hunters will leave the wee yins, due simply to their size, but when attacked by other predators, they are still able to emit the bagpipe-like sound, which again has the effect of very quickly clearing the surrounding area of all predators, and attracting other Haggis to the scene. This results in a very low infant mortality rate, with most wee yins actually making it to adulthood.

    The lifespan of the Haggis is again an unknown quantity, but from taggings done in the Victorian era, we know that some haggis live for well over 100 years.
    Several boats in various stages of destruction

    Comment

    • andym
      More Go Than Show Prop Co
      • Apr 2007
      • 2406

      #17
      Paddy I take my hat off to you, There is NO way I can compete with that utter bull*!***!***!***!** and believe me I have been sitting here for 1 Hr trying to come up with something!
      All bow to Paddy the KING of CRAP.
      You win, now I have to run I think I can hear Douggie storming in the door...

      Comment

      • Ub Hauled
        Fast Electric Addict!
        • Aug 2007
        • 3031

        #18
        Andy.. you and I mate...
        I am STILL sitting here...
        Here comes Douggie
        :::::::::::::::. It's NEVER fast enough! .:::::::::::::::

        Comment

        • Chilli
          Fast Electric Addict!
          • Jan 2008
          • 3070

          #19
          Wow, and I thought Haggis was just stuffed pig intestines.......
          Mike Chirillo
          www.capitolrcmodelboats.com

          Comment

          • Doug Smock
            Moderator
            • Apr 2007
            • 5272

            #20
            LOL You guys go ahead, I have this rule about not eating things I can't pronounce.

            Doug
            MODEL BOAT RACER
            IMPBA President
            District 13 Director 2011- present
            IMPBA National Records Director 2009-2019
            IMPBA 19887L CD
            NAMBA 1169

            Comment

            • Eodman
              Fast Electric Addict!
              • Sep 2007
              • 1253

              #21

              Damn I got a kernel stuck in my teeth! Must not be good popping corn!
              We did it with a Bang!

              Cats Are Where It's At!

              Comment

              • Flying Scotsman
                Fast Electric Adict!
                • Jun 2007
                • 5190

                #22
                Steven, you are correct. I did not read the part that you could not ship via express due to size constraint Just leave the charges as is for my errors. No refund and I mean it. I have also sent you a pm and an email
                Andy, you have forgotten that WEE Dave my brother is travelling in your part of the country and Paddy was kind enough to send me your address. Wee he is not...6' 6" 250 lbs. You can not miss him as he has a pet haggis sitting on his shoulder.\
                Edit
                Please review the For AndyM thread under off topics for an update

                Douggie
                Last edited by Flying Scotsman; 01-21-2009, 06:28 PM.

                Comment

                • Steven Vaccaro
                  Administrator
                  • Apr 2007
                  • 8718

                  #23
                  Doug apology accepted. I already made the refund this morning. I wouldn't have kept it anyways.
                  Steven Vaccaro

                  Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

                  Comment

                  • andym
                    More Go Than Show Prop Co
                    • Apr 2007
                    • 2406

                    #24
                    Bring it on Wee Dave me boy!!!! How does he go in 48 deg C heat

                    Comment

                    • Xzessperated
                      Fast Electric Addict!
                      • Apr 2008
                      • 3060

                      #25
                      Originally posted by andym
                      Bring it on Wee Dave me boy!!!! How does he go in 48 deg C heat
                      It's not the Wee Dave you have to worry about Andy. It is the pet Haggis that will be the problem. If you put that in your local boat testing pool for a swim and it breeds with the Australian Yowie or the Bunyip who knows what sort of monster might emerge from such a union.
                      This is just a short bit about the Bunyip....
                      "The Bunyip emerges at night time, often with terrifying cries and blood curdling screams. It devours any animal or human venturing near their home. It is said that women are their favourite prey, most likely because they are more defenseless."
                      It is funny because I never found an Australian woman defenseless. Most of them take at least one a$$ cheek off while taking your wallet and destroying your life.
                      Imagine what sort of monster would be created if the Haggis actually mated with an Australian woman. A woman that moans like a Bagpipe is my guess.
                      Several boats in various stages of destruction

                      Comment

                      • Steven Vaccaro
                        Administrator
                        • Apr 2007
                        • 8718

                        #26
                        Ok, you guys had your fun. Time to move on. By the way I have a friend with the last name Haggis. I will forward him that wonderful info. lol
                        Steven Vaccaro

                        Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

                        Comment

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