Australia

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  • Flying Scotsman
    Fast Electric Adict!
    • Jun 2007
    • 5190

    #1

    Australia

    This is a thread for people to better understand Aussies

    Scotopedia states the Caucasian invasion started in 1770 when boats arrived with people of dubious character. They thought the West coast was lovely but they heard of rumours of gold in the interior, off they went to make their fortune. Day after day the heat and searching for water holes was taxing their endurance, then came upon a site that amazed them, a flat top rock. Ater doing a highland fling around the rock they realised the error of their ways. So back to the West coast. They found what is now called New South Wales to their liking and the colony grew.
    They developed a new strange accent and were skilled in making beer. As time marched forward and knowing they could not beat their arch enemy the Kiwis at rugby they developed a babaric game called Aussie Rules. This shows the primative development of these people as they play this game with no helmets or padding to protect themselves, as this is a very violent sport.

    Here are some notes from people who have travelled to this continent.
    A learned gentleman who now resides in Canada sent this review

    My brother Wee Dave and his wife spent a month travelling the land this year and they had a terrific time. They mentioned an incident that has changed their lives. They came upon a place called Broken Hill and they were frolicking around in a grassy meadow singing at a moderate volume. Then a person appeared out his house who said "Piss off you Pom b*stards". Wee Dave was quite struck as he thought he was talking about the English, so he strode up the hill to congratulate him on his good sense. They had a long chat and he inquired if their was a place that this person would suggest to visit. He was told to visit Tasmania and visit a gent who was in the security business.
    So off they went, this is where it gets murky. Wee Dave and his wife remember nothing of this meeting. This is the troubling part upon their return to Scotland every Saturday they leap out of their seats and shout "Australia..Australia... Saint Kilda and then have a beer.
    I have searched the Catholic records but I can not find a reference to a Saint Kilda?
  • RCprince
    Fast Electric Addict!
    • Jul 2007
    • 1637

    #2
    Is that the good side of the story?
    Samuel Johnson - “An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere.” William Cooper "listen to everything, read everything, and believe nothing unless you can prove it in your own research!"

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    • Flying Scotsman
      Fast Electric Adict!
      • Jun 2007
      • 5190

      #3
      Originally posted by RCprince
      Is that the good side of the story?
      Nope, that is the sad side their neighbours are from New Zealand and the cops have been called to visit Wee Dave and explain he may be facing harassment charges.

      Douggie

      Comment

      • Flying Scotsman
        Fast Electric Adict!
        • Jun 2007
        • 5190

        #4
        I notice that the marsupials have not replied, they must be up a tree sleeping it off, or looking for cute sheilas on campus

        Douggie

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        • egneg
          Fast Electric Addict!
          • Feb 2008
          • 4670

          #5
          Originally posted by Flying Scotsman
          I notice that the marsupials have not replied, they must be up a tree sleeping it off, or looking for cute sheilas on campus

          Douggie
          Douggie they are nocturnal animals ... this is when shagging sheep is best as they can get away under the cover of darkness.
          IMPBA 20481S D-12

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          • Flying Scotsman
            Fast Electric Adict!
            • Jun 2007
            • 5190

            #6
            Chuck, the problems of the unwashed in Australia are well documented. Sir Haggis Torrance had a document that describes the problems, but it was removed by a chap from Tasmania. We are searching his origin, but he seems intelligent for an Aussie

            Douggie

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            • andym
              More Go Than Show Prop Co
              • Apr 2007
              • 2406

              #7
              Why answer ? Douggie the dick head can not even work out that New South Wales is on the East Coast!! When some one is that directionally challenged it pays to steer clear of them. By the way wee Daves wife is a hell of a good root, both Paddy and myself agree on this point.

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              • ozzie-crawl
                Fast Electric Addict!
                • Sep 2008
                • 2865

                #8
                he still doesnt under stand aussies, we live by one rule "if you cant eat it or root it then shoot it"

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                • Flying Scotsman
                  Fast Electric Adict!
                  • Jun 2007
                  • 5190

                  #9
                  Christ, the dick head did get it wrong East is West or?. That was my wife that was giving the directions.

                  Douggie

                  Comment

                  • andym
                    More Go Than Show Prop Co
                    • Apr 2007
                    • 2406

                    #10
                    he still doesnt under stand aussies, we live by one rule "if you cant eat it or root it then shoot it"
                    AMEN to that brother!!

                    Christ, the dick head did get it wrong East is West or?. That was my wife that was giving the directions
                    Douggie I do feel so sorry for you!! A man who blindly follows his wife will always be lost

                    Comment

                    • Simon.O.
                      Fast Electric Addict!
                      • Oct 2007
                      • 1521

                      #11
                      Originally posted by ozzie-crawl
                      he still doesnt under stand aussies, we live by one rule "if you cant eat it or root it then shoot it"
                      Now if you are really sharp, you can root it, shoot it and then eat it.
                      See it....find the photos.....sketch it it....build it........with wood

                      Comment

                      • ozzie-crawl
                        Fast Electric Addict!
                        • Sep 2008
                        • 2865

                        #12
                        Douggie I do feel so sorry for you!! A man who blindly follows his wife will always be lost[/QUOTE]

                        well he does wear a skirt so i suppose his wife wears the pants
                        simon what have i told you before "if your gunna root it shoot it after not before"

                        Comment

                        • Flying Scotsman
                          Fast Electric Adict!
                          • Jun 2007
                          • 5190

                          #13
                          What a boring bunch. I was expecting some wicked response as to the Scots. Scotland is to the South of England..I think, is that true, my wife says it is!
                          The Scots are way more civilised... if you can not eat it or root it...SELL IT.... This is an English take, we are more cunning



                          Douggie
                          Last edited by Flying Scotsman; 10-29-2009, 01:46 PM.

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