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Thread: Things to Ponder

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    25

    Lightbulb Things to Ponder

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    southern maryland
    Posts
    321

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    we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway
    restoring the collection

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