LOL. And no sheep in a kiwi joke.
Here is one for you Andy...
One day a Scotsman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10
years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, 'It's certainly
not a ship.' And, the speck got closer and closer, he began
to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Scotsman and said to him,
'Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar. ''Ten years,'
replied the amazed Scotsman.
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left
sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He takes
one, lights it, and takes a long drag. 'Ach no,' said the man, 'that is
so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!'
And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Scotch Whisky?'
asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, 'Ten years.' Hearing
that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket there
and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink
''Tis nectar of the gods!' stated the Scotsman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!'
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front
of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and
asked, 'and how long has it been since you played around?'
With tears in his eyes, the Scotsman fell to his knees and sobbed,
J****, Mary, and Joseph! And The Wee Donkey! Don't tell me that you've got golf
clubs in there, too!
Several boats in various stages of destruction
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Originally Posted by Flying Scotsman
Correct Andy. 
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