A joke for both of my friends :-)

[Xzessperated]

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day resting.
He enquired of God, ' where have you been? '
God pointed downwards through the clouds. 'Look Michael, look what
I've made,' said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, ' what is it ? '
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put life on it. I'm going
to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'
'balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the earth, 'For
example
Nth America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while
Sth America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot.'
'Over there I've placed a continent of white people and here I've
placed a Continent of black people.' God continued pointing to
different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid and this one will be very
cold and covered in ice.'
The archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to another
area and asked,' what's that?'
'Ah', said God. 'That's Tasmania, the most glorious place
on earth.There are beautiful people, impressive towns; it is the
home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers,
explorers and sportsmen
The people from Tasmania are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling
the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving,
and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What
about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'
God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the wankers I'm
putting in Victoria'

[Ub Hauled]

Lol

[westbeach]

[NativePaul]

That's funny but somehow after reading it this bit

The people from Tasmania are going to be modest

doesn't quite ring true.

[ozzie-crawl]

he is being modest, he didnt mention also being hung like a horse

[andym]

Yeah Ozzie he has a nose like a horse, that is what you mean? Isn't it. What does ring true is the WANKERS in Victoria. For those that do not know Victorian's are the absolute ugliest, low, cowardly bastards on the planet! You could call me a racist but if you come from Victoria we hate you know matter what color, creed or religion you are. The only people more hated are the opinionated bloody whinging POMS with NO sense of humor

[andym]

Oh and they make Very Bad beer and can not play footy, all the great players are South Australian, so is the best beer!!!

[Flying Scotsman]

For the unwashed, the animal is referring to that poofter game that boys play in tight shorts that they have borrowed from the Kiwi ballet company.
The only true male sports that require physical prowess are golf and curling. A palate for good scotch is a bonus for learning the fine points of these rigorous games
Paddy is excused as his team, the mighty SAINTS, play a mean game of lawn bowling.

Douggie

[andym]

I love me Scotch does this make me a curling champion?? That is hair curling and not some strange Scottish sex game I hope!!