All the reasons why Paddy should go to war !!

[andym]

New Direction for any war: Send old people


Paddy is over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks he is too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take old blokes. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 50.



For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Paddy only thinks about sex a couple of times a day, leaving him more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.



Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!

Paddy can't sleep,he is tired, hungry' and impatient and maybe letting him kill some scumbag that desperately deserves it will make him feel better and shut up for a while.



An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a..m. Paddy always gets up early to pee so what the hell.

Besides, Paddy is tired and can't sleep and since he is already up, he may as well be up killing some fanatical drongo.





If captured he couldn't spill the beans because he'd forget where he put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.



Boot camp would be easier for old Paddy.. He's used to getting screamed and yelled at and used to soft food. He's also developed an appreciation for guns.. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.





They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.He's been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did he ever do any push ups after completing basic training.



Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Never seen anyone outrun a bullet.



An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head...



These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..



Let Paddy and other old farts track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them..



***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...in menopause!!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!

If nothing else, put them on border patrol.... They will have it secured the first night!

[Xzessperated]

Have you been told today Andy?

I think of sex twice the number of times as I did when I was 18. What I used to be able to do all night takes me all night to do now.
The rest is correct.

[andym]

Told what Paddy?

[Xzessperated]

Told what Paddy?

Go insert a large Garden Gnome... you know where

[andym]

Go insert a large Garden Gnome... you know where

No I don't but please feel free to elaborate

[ozzie-crawl]

i can see the head lines now "Tasmanians fastest rc boater in afghanistan"
private paddy from tasmania has been doing his part in afghanistan,he has been rigging his rc boats with explosives and running them in to the enemies buildings
with speeds exceeding 90mph they are to fast for the enemy to track.
paddy said a lot of his success comes from his specially worked props done by his mate andy,he said andy would be in afghanistan with him but cant leave the house as he has a very large garden gnome inserted in his rectum.
this story could nearly be true except there is no water to run boats in afghanistan and all there buildings are already blown up

[andym]

Hey!! and I do NOT have anything up my bum!! Besides Paddy of course. Give us a kiss will ya Paddy

[befu]

Have you been told today Andy?

I think of sex twice the number of times as I did when I was 18. What I used to be able to do all night takes me all night to do now.
The rest is correct.

When I was a teenager, all those other teenage girls caought my eye.
Then I was in my 20's, and the women in thier 20's caught my eye. But those teenagers still did also!
Then I hit my 30's. all those women with nice experience caught my eye and my imagination. But those young women in thier 20's and teenagers with younger bodies still had my full attention.
Now I am in my 40's and gotta say, women in thier 40's have thier own place and style to admire them for. So now I watch the 40's, 30's, 20's and teenagers.

Why would I think that this trend will change? Hell, some day I will have to retire because all the women will be younger than me and all I will think about is women!

Just realized I feel sorry for the bi-sexual guys, they have it twice as bad!

Brian