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Thread: Tiger Woods

  1. #1
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    Default Tiger Woods

    One:

    Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife

    Two:

    What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards

    Three:

    Tiger Woods was injured in a car accident as he pulled out of his driveway early Friday morning. It was Woods' shortest drive since an errant tee shot at the US Open.

    Four:

    What was Tiger Woods doing out at 2.30 in the morning? He'd gone clubbing

    Five:

    Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron

    Six:

    Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?

    Seven:

    This is the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards

    Eight:

    Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

    Nine:

    Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash. He's still below par though

    Ten:

    Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one

  2. #2
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    Damn funny. I would beat her with that custom $600 club for being a switzy house maid and then because she broke my window. LOL

  3. #3
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    After he hit the tree, did he replace the divet?

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    News flash - Tiger confirms doing the dirty on his wife!
    Wow so it was a true story.. I wonder if he'll now except his
    new nickname " Cheetah woods " this guy just can't get enough pu$$y!

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    I needed a good laugh this morning. Thanks!!!

    Blake

    Have some fun every day!!!

  6. #6
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    Tiger Woods after his wife had a in depth discussion with him.
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  7. #7
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    That just goes to show some blond's are not just after the money, doesn't it???? Oh $hit I know they are all after money............................................. .....

  8. #8
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    You guys are BRUTAL!!!!!!!!!!
    TOY BOAT RACER
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  9. #9
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    I also needed a good laugh, you guys are the best

    Douggie, responding from the pub/brothel at 2.30am. Andy you have saved my life with your advise

  10. #10
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    Don't take this the wrong way, because I believe what he did was wrong. And the jokes are funny. Keep them coming.

    But its funny, Over the years the guy is praised for being a nice guy with a squeaky clean record. Now something bad happens and every Joe, Dick and Harry comes on to the local talk radio stations to tell their stories of what a jerk this guy has been in past years on the golf circuit. I think 99% of these people are full of crap. Some people love to toss stones at the "well off", when their down on the ground.
    Steven Vaccaro

    Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steven Vaccaro View Post
    Don't take this the wrong way, because I believe what he did was wrong. And the jokes are funny. Keep them coming.

    But its funny, Over the years the guy is praised for being a nice guy with a squeaky clean record. Now something bad happens and every Joe, Dick and Harry comes on to the local talk radio stations to tell their stories of what a jerk this guy has been in past years on the golf circuit. I think 99% of these people are full of crap. Some people love to toss stones at the "well off", when their down on the ground.
    It's funny how that is. He has an accident, suddenly 3 women had an affair with him.
    Fame at any cost? Where were they before the accident? Why is the media so fascinated with his marital problems? Why does anyone care?
    Government Moto:
    "Why fix it? Blame someone else for breaking it."

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by domwilson View Post
    Why is the media so fascinated with his marital problems? Why does anyone care?
    His whole life is based around media. If there was no media/tv, he would be another regular Joe like the rest of us. Whats that saying, "Live by the sword, die by the sword!"
    Steven Vaccaro

    Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

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    I agree that his professional career played out in the media. But not sure of when or if his personal life became fodder for the media with the exception of his racial affiliation.
    Government Moto:
    "Why fix it? Blame someone else for breaking it."

  14. #14
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    I believe he has NO personal life. His whole professional existences and career is based on being on tv/media, and wearing a label on his hat, pants or shirt. He sold his soul to the devil(media) when he decided to take money for hitting a ball in a hole.
    Steven Vaccaro

    Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

  15. #15
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    I'm not much into pro sports, but I didn't realize how much not. Tiger Woods is black?!?! I heard his name as being a great golfer, being better than the only golf name I remember as a kid (Nicklaus). I didn't realize color made a difference - baseball and basketball have been fully integrated sports as long as I can remember. I guess football is too.

    Bummer on him cheating, if he did. That picture is a riot.

    Andy
    Spektrum Development Team

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    You really didn't know Tiger was black?!

  17. #17
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    According to Tiger, he's "multicultural". Either way, I don't think he'd be invited as a motivational speaker at a Klan rally.
    Government Moto:
    "Why fix it? Blame someone else for breaking it."

  18. #18
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    Chuck sent me this game, a lot of fun
    http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

  19. #19
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    Thats funny!
    Steven Vaccaro

    Where Racing on a Budget is a Reality!

  20. #20
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    The crash did make me feel a little better. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't hit a 3 iron worth a crap!!!

    Blake
    Have some fun every day!!!

  21. #21
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    his new boat
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    I agree with Steven and Dom. I think there are a lot of hypocrites out there saying look what he did while they are doing or have done the same kinda thing.

    I for one am over it! Try living in the same metro area as Tiger, like I do. It's all they have been talking about on the news since all this happened MOVE ON PEOPLE!!!

    Chris

  23. #23
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    Heres one

    Whats the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?


    Santa Clause stopped @ 3 Hoes
    SV 27 , Mean Machine, Prince 26,Vac-U-Pickle

  24. #24
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    Tigers new nickname... Cheetah

  25. #25
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    Subject: Johnny's at it again!




    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have

    turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the

    children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early

    dismissal.


    Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can

    leave early today."


    Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart

    and will answer the question."


    Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."


    Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."


    Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.


    Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."


    Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."


    Johnny is even madder than before.


    Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."


    Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."


    Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the

    questions.


    When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would

    keep their mouths shut!"


    The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"


    Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
    Member, Southwest Michigan Model Boat Club.

  26. #26
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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZpdljumper View Post
    Heres one

    Whats the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?


    Santa Clause stopped @ 3 Hoes
    One I got as an email that fits along with yours.

    Ken
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  28. #28
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    [QUOTE=ron Olson;146204]Subject: Johnny's at it again!




    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have

    turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the

    children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early

    dismissal.


    Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can

    leave early today."


    Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart

    and will answer the question."


    Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."


    Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."


    Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.


    Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."


    Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."


    Johnny is even madder than before.


    Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"


    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."


    Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."


    Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the

    questions.


    When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would

    keep their mouths shut!"


    The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"


    Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"[/QUOTE

    That is very funny...my sense of humour loves that post

    Douggie

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