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Thread: The Lone Ranger and Tonto

  1. 10-29-2009, 12:59 PM #1
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    Default The Lone Ranger and Tonto

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto were inseparable, but Tonto the Indian was hated by the rest of the cowboy population. As long as Tonto hung out with the Lone Ranger, he was safe. One day the Lone Ranger rode off to chase some stray horses and left Tonto alone. Some drunken cowboys found Tonto and decided his time was up. Putting him on a horse, they strung a noose over a tree branch and got ready to end his days by kicking out the horse. Tonto asked for a last request : to smoke one last cigarette. They rolled him one & lit it for him. Tonto thought hard and began to blow smoke signals - He did this over and over again until the Lone Ranger came riding in with six NAKED women on horseback. Upon seeing this, Tonto, with furrowed brow, exclaimed " Oh crap, I mispelled Posse ! "
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  2. 10-29-2009, 01:01 PM #2
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    Pretty funny!
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  3. 10-29-2009, 01:21 PM #3
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    Cracker! The Aussies will not get it

    Douggie
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  4. 10-29-2009, 05:51 PM #4
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    Update on a very old joke and I'm old enough to know the original!
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  5. 10-29-2009, 10:28 PM #5
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    I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!!!

    Blake
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  6. 10-30-2009, 12:18 AM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Scotsman View Post
    Cracker! The Aussies will not get it

    Douggie
    Why not
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  7. 11-15-2009, 01:25 PM #7
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    Aussies do use a few words that mean different things down under than they mean up here. I wouldn't for example want to ask an Aussie to stuff a turkey for me on Thanksgiving!
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  8. 11-15-2009, 10:30 PM #8
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    Guys we call a Pussy a Pussy too!!!!!
    Ron as far as stuffing your turkey goes speak to Paddy he loves plump birds
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  9. 11-15-2009, 10:59 PM #9
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    Actually, later that evening, the Lone Ranger and Tonto set up camp and fell into a peacefull sleep after the day's excitement. Awakening in the middle of the night, the Lone Ranger was amazed at the beautifull starry sky , so close that the stars seemed to almost touch the ground. The Lone Ranger was so inspired by this wondrous glimpse of the near universe that he awakened Tonto to share this incredible sight. Asking Tonto what he thought at beholding such beauty, Tonto leaned over and exclaimed " Kemosabe, I think someone stole our tent "!
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  10. 11-16-2009, 12:47 AM #10
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    There was an online buddy from Oz that was coming up here for an IMPBA Internat's and at the last minute his accomodations got pulled out from under him. I let him stay the week with me and my son in the cabin that I rented. While here, he taught my son all kinds of words that you use down there for different things that wasn't exactly swearing but your words for things, "stuffing" was one of them.
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  11. 11-16-2009, 12:58 AM #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by properchopper View Post
    Actually, later that evening, the Lone Ranger and Tonto set up camp and fell into a peacefull sleep after the day's excitement. Awakening in the middle of the night, the Lone Ranger was amazed at the beautifull starry sky , so close that the stars seemed to almost touch the ground. The Lone Ranger was so inspired by this wondrous glimpse of the near universe that he awakened Tonto to share this incredible sight. Asking Tonto what he thought at beholding such beauty, Tonto leaned over and exclaimed " Kemosabe, I think someone stole our tent "!
    That's funny too!
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  12. 11-16-2009, 01:08 AM #12
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    They went back to sleep..Next morning when the Lone Ranger woke up, he saw a kettle with what looked like stew in it. So he ate it. He was so delighted, he woke Tonto to thank him for the wonderful meal. He says to Tonto, "The stew was very good, but where did you get the corn?" Tonto laughed and said, "River too far, used bucket."
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  13. 11-16-2009, 01:09 AM #13
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    We Aussies love to Stuff mate!! Nothing like stuffing it right in there, I would not be alive if it was not a favorite pastime of my father
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  14. 11-17-2009, 11:19 AM #14
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    Andy was the day you were born on a Friday the 13th, as this would explain a lot about your character and mental state

    Love you

    Douggie
    Last edited by Flying Scotsman; 11-17-2009 at 12:12 PM.
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  15. 11-18-2009, 02:05 AM #15
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    Aussies must be very petite in the trousers then, to make use of a stuffing tube.
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  16. 11-18-2009, 02:25 AM #16
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    Aussies must be very petite in the trousers then, to make use of a stuffing tube.
    If you call a 5" ID stuffing tube petite then so be it!! Not much left of your turkey once an Aussie stuff's it mate!
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  17. 11-18-2009, 02:42 PM #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by andym View Post
    If you call a 5" ID stuffing tube petite then so be it!! Not much left of your turkey once an Aussie stuff's it mate!
    Andy, we are talking about ROOS!!!! and yes my 2" willie works well with the beast that has wool

    Douggie
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